Goodbye 2020

As I sit here and reflect on this last year, I decided to speak a little bit about what is on my mind. Keep it short and sweet.

I can honestly say that although 2020 has been a complete cluster f#@k, I have had a pretty good year. I did get laid off due to COVID, which was unfortunate. COVID has completely changed our every day lives, and it has definitely made this entire year suck. BUT, there were still some good things that happened for me this year.

2019 was ultimately the worst year for me, that I can recall. I struggled with many things after losing my dad. I had such a hard time coping with it, that my every day life suffered. I was honestly relieved when 2020 rolled around. As the summer neared, and the date that my dad passed away finally came and went, I felt as if a rock had lifted off of me.

Many months have passed since then, and I feel better than I have in a long time. I have overcame so many challenges this year. Yes, when I lost my job, I started to worry about bills pilling up. But, I was fortunate enough to find a job at the perfect time, working from home, which is something that I have wanted for a while now.

I got laid off in June, so I was able to spend the entire summer with my boys. I was TERRIFIED of not working. I have worked since the age of sixteen. I was also worried that my boys were going to make me want to rip my hair out. But you know what, it was GREAT. I am very happy that I was able to spend so much time with them. When you spend all day, every day at work, you always worry that you are going to miss so many milestones in your children’s lives, so I am so grateful to have been given the opportunity to watch them grow this summer.

As the holidays rolled around, I knew it would be hard without my dad, again. Of course it was going to be hard, why wouldn’t it? But I overcame it. I am am so proud that I have continued to push forward. Life throws things at you, and you unfortunately have to learn how to deal with it. And let me tell you, it SUCKS. But we are so strong. Stronger than we think. We can handle so much, and when we are able to push forward, it only makes us stronger. It is a good feeling knowing that even at our lowest, we were able to pull ourselves back up, put ourselves back together, and move on.

Life is so short. If 2020 has taught me anything, it has been to cherish what you have. As I sit here on the last day of this year, I can’t stop thinking about all of the time that I got to spend with family. Not even just this year, but my entire life. I am lucky that I got to spend so much time with my dad, and I am lucky to still be able to spend time with my family that is still here with me today. I kick myself in the ass for wanting to grow up so fast. I was always in a hurry to grow up. I wanted to be independent.

I never wanted to be home as soon as I started driving. I even got to the point where I didn’t want to be home for holidays. Why? I mean.. I was a dumb teenager. But looking back, I should have chosen to spend time with my family. I spent so much time with people who I don’t even talk to anymore, over spending time with the ones that continue to bend over backwards to make me happy. I wanted to buy a house as soon as I possibly could, because I didn’t want to live at home anymore. I wanted my own space, live by my own rules. Which, obviously everyone wants that. But I still, question why I wanted to move out so badly. I was fortunate enough to have a loving and supportive family. I feel like I took it for granted.

The older you get, the more you realize how stupid you were, even just the year before. My best advice to everyone for 2021, is simply cherish what you have. Take time to appreciate your loves ones. As humans, we naturally get caught up in our day to day lives, doing the same things over and over. We don’t take time to slow down and really open our eyes. Really appreciate what is in front of us. Things can change in the blink of an eye. And life flies by faster and faster as you continue to get older. Don’t allow yourself to miss out on what matters most.

I hope everyone who has faced troubling times this year is able to grow from it. Don’t let it hold you down. I want you to be able to keep moving forward, and keep your head up as we bring in the new year. And, most of all, hold your loved ones close.

Have a happy and safe New Year everyone!

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